Time to Reflect- Remembering the Past

Yesterday I was able to reflect back to a couple of years ago to 2008. Back in 2005-2007 my husband was doing well with his own business. He started up his own contacting business doing remodels, add-ons, door installs, window installations, paint to trim. Things were going well we had hired on a group of great, hard working men, who performed well in the work that they did. We tried to be a fair as we could and we wanted it to be a win-win situation for everyone involved, the employee's, sub-contractors, customers and the business as a whole. Around the February-March of "08" Glen met with his accountant and then he met with me. The news was not what I expected or even wanted to hear. I remember Glen took me to lunch at a local sandwich shop in Eagle at Quizzno's and revealed to me what was discussed at the meeting that he went to with our accountant. My heart sank deep into the pit of my stomach as he laid out where we were with our current situations with our company "Eagle Specialties" The company had accumulated more debt and we had a customer who still owed us over $10,000.00 and sadly did not feel that they needed to pay Glen's company the remaining amount. With the cost of paying the employee's, workmen comp insurance, taxes, accountant fee's, the monthly office bill, truck payments, and paying on the other bills that we had, we recognized that we were in big trouble! Things were going Great, but that all ended to soon. I had KD's Childcare which was ex termly successful and I had hired on an employee who I absolutely loved working with. Glen and I talked about what we could do and did A LOT of praying and fasting. We wanted to do anything, but bankruptcy. After long nights, many discussions with Glen and A LOT of Tears, we realized that we could no longer afford to pay for the cost of employee's, especially with the way the market economy was going. We still had a customer with a balance of 10,000.00 dollars with no intentions of paying and we no jobs were lining up. Glen even went down town at the Home and Garden Show with Boise Center of the Grove and set up a booth for Eagle Specialities. He received a lot of contact information from people that were there, but even with our Assistant Jenny calling to set up times for Glen to come, do bids and estimates people just weren't doing anything. It's like everything FROZE! We knew with the way that things were going that we had to let all of our employee's go. I remember that morning clear as day. It was raining that morning and I went and got doughnuts and chocolate milk. We had everyone met at the office in the conference room and then Glen explained that with the way things were going we could no longer afford to have the employee's. Everyone one was kind and seemed to be understanding of the situation. That was an emotional day for both Glen and I, it was the last thing that we wanted to do, but it was something that we knew we needed to do. After that meeting Glen and I talked and we decided that we had to let Alyssa go as well, since we needed that extra income to pay for expense and I wasn't going to school at the time I would take over the childcare full time by myself. I came home and explain to Alyssa the situation and that we were letting her go, it was heart breaking to do that and all that we did that day. I have heard that business is business, but it's hard not to allow your emotions to get involved, because honestly they do. We ended up letting Jenny go as well and we got rid of the office. I remember the day that we let everyone go, about a week later Glen and I found out that the company that Glen used to work for "Stilen Doors" had closed down it's shop on that same Monday we let everyone go. We also found out that Franklin Building Supply and Stone Lumber had laid off about 30%-40% of their employee's. It truly felt to me like time stood still the day that I found that information out. It felt like I was in the middle of a current econ mic depression! I remember thinking to my self and wondering when all of the parking lots at the stores would no longer be full of cars but instead be filled with silence with no one on the streets. I can honestly say that I was waiting and preparing myself for that to happen. Among these trial we still wanted to do everything that we could to pay off the business debt that we had. So after discussing it more we decided that we would sell our house and take the equity from the sell to pay off most of our business debt. We met with a Realtor and within a week (if not a few days) our house was on the market. We were going to close down the childcare, move into an apartment downtown Boise by the University and focus full time on school. I remember that I even had a closing date for the childcare. I had some parents pull there kids out due to the fact that we were going to be moving, some of the kids moved away out to Nampa, and one parent got mad that we were moving and closing down to go to school. What can you say, I guess that you can't please everyone. I had some kids stay, I remember their parents saying, "We aren't leaving until you tell us that we can't come here anymore." I am truly grateful for the parents that stayed and continued to have me care for their children during this difficult time in our life. I will be eternally grateful for their love and support they gave us. We ended up having our house on the market for a few months and prayed that if our home was supposed to sell that it would. Well I think that we had maybe 2 people look at it during the time that it was on the market. Something about having on the market didn't feel right after having it out their for a few months, so we took it off and decided that Bankruptcy was our only option. Glen went and found an attorney and the process got started. We would receive 30-50 phone calls a day and our messages on our answering machine would fill up as fast as we emptied it. We had men come to our door to collect the company trucks and threaten to take Glen to jail if he didn't give them back, we were harassed over the phone numerous times. Looking back at this experience you can say that times were hard. We felt/were judged by people and felt the humiliation of even talking about bankruptcy. I remember feeling drained emotionally, physically, and even spiritually. I felt temptations that I haven't felt in a really, really, really long time and the temptations WERE STRONG..!!! I remember feeling so angry at Glen for starting up the company and would at times blame him for what we were going through. It breaks my heart to realize that I did that to him, and I am sorry for it. This company was as much as his decision as it was mine. I remember feeling like I just wanted to leave, like seriously LEAVE and not come back until it was better. I remember being tempted to drink and go to bars. You know we all heard the saying drink the pain away. Hard Liquor never had looked so appealing as it did during that time in my life. I remember wanting to go and get tattoo's, but I knew if I did that it would affect my family in a way that I didn't want it to in the long run. As a parent I feel like kids learn from example and so I decided not to get one, as it might affect some of their decision later in life. Even though it's still tempting to get one sometimes, I know that it's probably best not to get any. As I have written about my experience over the past two year I realize that we have been blessed in the process. Even though bankruptcy was something that we DID NOT want to do, we have lived through it. We have a better understanding at life and the reality of things that can happen. I feel that Glen and I have grown and become stronger in the process. We are now able to focus on school full time and get that done. We have a roof over our head, food to eat, clothes on our backs, warm bed to sleep in, amazing family and friends that have supported us and shown their love and concern. I am still doing the Childcare and I am going back to school Full Time to obtain my degree in Early Childhood Education and hope to minor in Health and Fitness or Exercise Science. Glen is no longer doing window installs with the Home Depot, but has been working down at the school with the Boise State Research Department working with DNA nao-structures. Even though the things that we went through were extremely difficult for us and caused pain, heart, sleepless nights and A LOT of tears I feel blessed and know that I am stronger because of it. This reflection has been difficult for me to look back on and write about and it leaves a thump in my throat to reread it but as I have done so I feel a sense of relief that I could not have felt if I didn't do this. Life is interesting in the journeys and the roads that it takes us down, but I know that we can only grown through our struggles and pains. I feel it is important to document or journal your past experiences as they are a part of your life and who you are. I am excited for what the future holds and look forward to my tomorrows with a renewed sense of joy and gratitude.

Glen's 28th Birthday

This year for Glen's birthday (Febuaury 21st....I know i'm a little late posting this) we had Shana, Jeremy, Sammi and Constance in town staying with us over the weekend. We had a family Spagitti Dinner and of course cake, ice cream and presents. We enjoyed having the company of Jeremy and Shana's family over the weekend and enjoyed having Jarom, Corinne, Shem and Reilly there as well for the family birthday dinner. It was fun to visit with everyone and to have some of Glen's siblings there made it even that much more special. Thanks for everyone coming :) Happy Birthday Babe!! Kimberly and Levi added a few extra candles..... Cousins Kimberly and Sammi Presents time!!

During the holidays I try to have some fun crafts for the kids to do. This year on Valentines we had a house full and alot of fun. Were we're able to have Aiden, Liam, Berlyn, Abby and my two kids here. Earlier in the week before I went to my Sociology class I went to the Hobby Lobby and picked up these wooden hearts and some Valentines Day rub-on-stickers. So on the day of the craft I got out my paints, smocks, let the kids pick their paint color and their rub-on. Once they picked their color I allowed them to start to paint. The girls had to wait, because we only had 3 brushes and we flipped a coin to see if girls or boys could go first. The boys won and the girls patiently waited. Berlyn got a fresh drink before she got started. I got the cup of water out for the kids to rinse their brushes out with. But with the kids only using one color on their hearts and the water being unused I told Berlyn that she could have it. The kids had a fun time painting and their crafts all turned out really cute! :)

Pretty Princesses =]

I have the oppurtunity to watch my niece Abby during the week and from time to time Caitlyn comes over to play with Kimberly. Here is a day earlier in the year were the girls all dressed up like princesses and I got a couple of pictures. Levi wanted to join into the picture fun too. :) It's fun to watch the kids play pretend. Pretty Princesses and A Prince..... Time to be GOOFY!!! Kimberly, Abby and Caitlyn

Blog Going Private

Hello everyone!! I have been thinking for the last couple of weeks to go private with my blog and I think that that is what I'm going to do. So if you would like to keep up with our family please e-mail me your blogging e-mail address and I'll add you or you can post your e-mail address on here. Which ever you prefer. My e-mail address is kathypurnell@yahoo.com. I'll leave it opened for a day or so, but after that I'm going to go private. Thanks everyone! :)_

The Case of the Missing Tree Berries

So for Christmas this year I decided to put berries on our tree to give it some red accents. While every other day or so I would look at the tree and think, "I thought I put more berries on that." A week went by and our little tree was seeming to be getting barer and barer of the berries. I even added some more berries and after I did that even some of them seemed to go missing. Finally I asked Kimmi and Levi if they had been taking berries off of the Christmas tree. Levi said, "No mommy I haven't, I don't know were they are." I gave he a look that said, "Are you sure?" Next Kimmi says shyishly, Ummmm.... no mom, I don't know where they are either." "Are you sure I asked her?" She looks at me and again and says, Ahhh I think I know where they are." She ran off to her room in a hurry, then came back and said, No Mom they aren't anywhere." So I went to look in her room and sure enough.....she was right they weren't there. After that I really didn't think about it anymore. So fast forward to a few weeks later, after all of the Christmas items are put away and lets go to .....lets say like today! I was cleaning up Cooties peices from behind the couch by our front window where Abby and Kimmi were playing with them and there were some by the vent. I thought, "I wonder if one or two of the legs might have fallen down there, so I open up the vent and low and behold there were my missing berries!!!! A great big pile of them just sitting there in the front living room vent!! I called Kimmi over and looking at her concerned asked, "Did you put these down the vent?" She looks at me a little ashamed, and says, "Yes Mom." "Why did you out these down the vent?" "Because I didn't like them on the tree." "Just because you don't like them on the tree doesn't mean you can put these down the vent, that's naughty." "I'm sorry mommy" Oh my oh my..... I had to hold my self back from laughing and of course I had to come and post it. That is just too funny!! I think that I'm going to write a childrens story from this experience and dedicate it to Kimmi! ;) (Little Turkey ! HaHa!!)

Boise State University

I received my acceptance letter from Boise State University to be a Full Time Degree-Seeking Student on January 5th 2009. I have been going to BSU for a few years now, but I have been taking only one class at a time because I had to take up to 14 credits and pay for them all on my own before I could go any further. yep, that's right no finical aid. So when we have had the money I've been able to get a class in here and there. It seems like it has taken me a long time to just get the 15 credits that I know have, but the beautiful thing about this is that I can now go FULL TIME and I can RECEIVE FINICAL AID!! That is so nice!!! What a blessing. This semester I signed up for 16 credits, but I'm only enrolled into 7 of them because I am waiting for the other classes to open up so that I can get into them. I am on a waiting list and am #1 for two classes and #10 in one class (but that #10 used to be #22, so there have been a lot of people that have already dropped out) One thing that I am really going to have to MASTER is TIME MANAGEMENT, seriously. Pretty much every minute of every day is going to have be planned out. Time for studying, time for Glen, time for the kids, time to play. You know the saying "You Work Hard, You Play Hard". I will never forget what President Thomas S. Monson said in the Genera Relief Society Women's Broadcast in September of 2007. He said, "Beyond our study of spiritual matters, secular learning is also essential...... I urge you to pursue your education-if you are not already doing so or have not done so-that you might be prepared to provide if circumstances necessitate. Your talents will expand as you study and learn. You will be able to better assist your families in their learning, and you will have peace of mind knowing that you have prepared yourself for the eventualities that you may encounter in life." I remember being over to come with the spirit when he said that and I will never forget the way I felt. It was like he was talking to me. I know that I have written about this before but it is something that I feel is so personal to me and is the thing that I need to do to prepare myself whether its to help my children do better in their schooling or to receive my education for the need having to provide for the future, I don't know. But one thing that I do know is that I'm in action of getting my education and perusing that process. What a great time. As I look around and really stop to think about and see what I have been blessed, I really see my self among great blessings.